I was asked to write a guest blog for my friend and soul sister Sheryl at http://conscious-transitions.com/. I’ve decided to post it here as well.
As a psychotherapist and a specialist in the field of mind-body fertility, I have counseled many women who have put off having children until they felt the time was right for them. They postponed marriage until they achieved financial security and found a partner they loved. They delayed pregnancy until they felt mature enough to forge an emotionally satisfying relationship that could provide them and their children with a nurturing atmosphere. I, personally think this is admirable. But the media and the medical establishment’s inclination to depict women over thirty-five who want babies as caught up in a “biological-clock panic” and having “wombs that are too old to work” undermines the confidence and emotional health of so many women concerning their fertility. These messages instill so much fear onto women in their 20’s and 30’s to have families when they are not ready to do so. By the time they are in their 40”s, understandably, many women come to me feeling devastated at being told that they or their eggs are too old or that there is a problem if they are not pregnant within the accepted “six – twelve month” period. My concern is that if women are convinced that they are too-old or that there is a problem, and that there is ‘little hope’, if any, this belief will be reflected negatively in their bodies.
Contrary to popular belief within the medical world, fertility is not solely determined by one’s age or the number and quality of one’s eggs alone. Stress can indeed play a big part in infertility. Deeply ingrained in all of us are powerful family beliefs, rules, messages, attitudes and patterns of behavior that influence our life and affect our relationships and ultimately our reproductive system. Fertility is a lifelong relationship with oneself regardless of age or whether or not one has a biological child. Feeling open and receptive to the reproductive process has more to do with how we see ourselves as creative, fertile, and sensual women. And how we feel about ourselves has everything to do with unexpressed (often unconscious) thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviours often based on unfinished business from our childhood.
I have witnessed countless people that validate the mind/body interconnection and interdependence. Whether or not our conscious mind is aware of what we are feeling, our bodies register and records every moment of our lives. This includes every moment from our past and our present. The mind is an amazing recorder of events and feelings. There is a constant dialogue between our thoughts, images, beliefs, and feelings that can throw off our delicately balanced hormonal system.
The healing journey to become pregnant, carry to term, and birth a baby is an opportunity to identify and release repressed emotions that may be inhibiting your ability to conceive. When my clients make the connection between what they are feeling, what is gong on in their lives, the emotional messages they are often unknowingly ‘sending’ to their bodies, and the symptoms they are experiencing, profound levels of healing take place. As these conception-blocking feelings are confronted, you can create an emotional base from which to move toward the life you desire and deserve, and toward the life you will be creating.